Did I just coin a new term? “Artiquette” – how to behave at an art exhibit? Probably not. Anyway, I have work in Sputnik 1, a group show opening tonight at the Boyd Satellite gallery in New Orleans, and you’re invited. By all means come but I won’t be there until October for my solo exhibit entitled, Make Your Mark.

If you do go, here are the 10 things you shouldn’t do.

DO NOT:

10. Act like you’re just at a party or social event, completely ignoring anything having to do with the artist(s), the art or the fact that this is a business.

9. Introduce yourself to the artist or the gallery owner and talk to them for as long as possible, even though you have no real interest in the work or intention of buying any art.

8. If you already know the artist or gallery owner, talk with them ad naseum about things you can discuss anytime or anywhere.

7. Hand out your business cards or show announcements to any and everyone you meet.

6. If you’re an artist, ask the exhibiting artist(s) if they will introduce you to the gallery owner. (Hint, hint.)

5. Say negative things out loud about the work.

4. Wander into the gallery’s office or back room and start poking around.

3. Tell people loudly that you just saw a better opening at another gallery.

2. Touch the work or stand tooclose to it.

1. Get drunk… or better yet, arrive drunk. Unless you’re the artist, and then ANYTHING goes.

Top, Boyd Satellite installation of Sputnik 1. Bottom, Trey Speegle‘s Big Fun (via Art Business)