This is a good one. Nathan Phifer, 28, went into an H-E-B grocery store in Houston the the wine area and stuffed three bottles into his pants. Police said Phifer then went into the public restroom, where he guzzled down two of the bottles before stopping by the sushi bar where he crammed sushi in his pants before trying to leave the store. He was arrested and taken to the city jail. Not a model citizen apparently, in March Phifer pleaded guilty to drug charges and is currently serving two years deferred adjudication. Not that it matters, but I’m originally from Houston and I think this must happen ALL the time. Case is point; Earlier this year, another Texas genius was charged with stealing $2,000 worth of beef from at least 19 H-E-B stores, 13 of which were in the Austin area. He allegedly then sold it to local barbecue restaurants. Ew. (via Huffington Post)