A British Airways flight was forced to turn around and land over the weekend because somebody did #2 so bad that it was gagging everyone on the plane. Quite an accomplishment, that your poop brought down a $500 million airplane. Your ass is essentially a terrorist.

The BA flight from Heathrow to Dubai on Saturday had to turn around and head back to London just 30 minutes into the seven-hour flight because of a toilet crime. A British politician on the flight said,

“The pilot made an announcement requesting senior cabin crew, and we knew something was a bit odd. About 10 minutes later he said, ‘You may have noticed there’s a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets.’
He said it was liquid fecal excrement. Those are the words he used.”

The flight was rescheduled for the next day, and British Airways made a statement saying,

“We’re very sorry for the discomfort to our customers.”

Well, something similar happened on a flight I was on in 2011, from Miami returning to New York. Our flight was already delayed by the time we were allowed to board the plane. I boarded early and was seated across from a woman and her elderly, VERY obese husband who were already seated. Immediately, all of us in the surrounding seats began to smell human excrement –REALLY strong. Like to GAG you. I moved two rows up to sit next to some people I had met earlier, but it was still really strong, almost unbearable. We complained and after some back and forth, the flight crew had someone escort the woman and the man off the of plane. (It seems that the man had shit his pants and his wife who was his caretaker, was just going to let him fly for 3 hours that way!) Guys in hazmat suits came in and tried to clean the seats (see pic), sprayed air freshener, then finally removed the seat cushions altogether and covered the backs. The airline gave everyone in the general vicinity free drinks all the way home and we were all bonded for life by the experience.

(via Vice)