Not all are signs…. some are memes, t-shirts, graphics (gravestones!) but they are all indicative of the year we are putting to bed. Word up to 2014! (Click to scroll through.)
2014
VARIOUS THINGS WE GOT STUCK OUR COLLECTIVE VAGINAS, PENISES AND BUTTS THIS YEAR
Deadspin has a charming, informative holiday tradition I’m subscribing to this year; their annual trawl of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission‘s database of emergency room visits to discover the most awkward objects that America shoved into its various holes. Oh, it’s hurts to even read the list.
PENIS
• RUBBER TUBE
• “PLASTIC SPOON AND PERHAPS A PENCIL”
• CROCHET NEEDLE
• “STUCK A NAIL IN URETHRA THEN IT MIGRATED UP INTO THE BLADDER”
• WOOL YARN
• LONG PLASTIC HAND OF STIRRING SPOON
• “INSERTED A LONG BALLOON IN PENIS TO HAVE GIRLFRIEND BLOW UP FOR SEXUAL STIMULATION AND IT BROKE”
VAGINA
• PLASTIC HANDLE OF SCISSORS
• KNITTING NEEDLES
• PEN
• “A LARGE AMOUNT OF SAND”
• HAIR TIE
• BAG OF CRYSTAL METH
• 10″ STEAK KNIFE
• RAZOR
• SPONGE
• “ONE BATTERY AND THREE COINS”
• BATHTUB STOPPER
• “PUT A BAG OF MONEY IN VAGINA TO HIDE IT FROM HUSBAND”
• BILLIARD BALL
• “ORGASM BALLS”
RECTUM
• TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER
• PIPE
• KEYS
• ACORN
• SHOT GLASS
• DRUM STICK
• ICE PICK
• UNSHARPENED PENCIL
• “HAD ANAL SEX & HAS BRUISING, BLOOD ON TOILET PAPER, TOOK CRYSTAL METH TO HELP PAIN”
• CANDLE
• AIR FRESHENER
• CAN OF SPRAY PAINT
• SHAVING CREAM CAN
• SHAMPOO BOTTLE
• LOTION BOTTLE
• SODA CAN
• “BEER BOTTLE UP RECTUM & BOTTLE BROKE WHEN TRIED TO RETRIEVE BOTTLE W/ PLIERS. COCAINE USE PRIOR TO INSERTION”
• TURKEY BASTER
• PHONE CORD
• GOLF BALL
• METAL TOILET PAPER HOLDER
• TENT STAKES
• “ROLLED UP STACK OF PLASTIC TRASH BAGS”
• CHRISTMAS BELL
• LOG
Insert joke here –and here –and here. (via Deadspin)